Don't read this, Dad.
Seriously
Normally I'd say "New Years resolutions are fucking retarded.."
But this year is different.. This year I actually have a resolution.. But it's not like the promises that people generally make to themselves every year and then break within a couple of weeks.
I mean this shit.
From the first day of 2004 to the last day of my fucked up little life, I swear to gourd that I will never again associate with my father's side of my family, save for a very select few.
I love my dad, I really do.. Sure, he's nuts and he drinks a lot and he's a little weird guy and whatnot.. but he's my dad and I love him.
I don't love his family though.
I don't even like them.
Well, ok.. I like my cousin Bean.. He's one of my best friends.. and his mom's ok, I guess..
and I do have some sort of feelings for my grandfather because I feel like maybe he's where that damned urge to write came from.. I'm just not sure if I love him or hate him for it.
but most of the rest of those bastards could all drop dead right now and I honestly wouldn't care.
I know that sounds really horrible..
"Oh, my god! How could you say that, Biggun? They're your FAMILY! At least they aren't abusive alcoholics or something!"
I'd actually prefer abusive alcoholics.
And I don't like people who look down their noses at me.
I didn't want to get up before noon and go deal with those people and their fake-ass bullshit, but my dad pretty much begged me to and I love him so I fucking did it. I went over to his mom and dad's place and watched them all try to impress each other and out-perfect each other.
Yes, I wore the "Beware of God" shirt because I knew it would piss them off. But it was not a personal attack on that fat, orange minister or reverend or whatever who married a cousin of mine.. and my racist, two-faced, nosey grandmother should not have apologized to him on my behalf and talked shit about me after I left. She knew it would get back to me.. I wonder what that means...
Anyway, on my mom's side of my family, if someone has some shit to talk, they'll tell you right to your face.
I appreciate and respect that.
My father's mother would never dream of telling you what's on her mind directly to your face.
None of those people would, but especially her.. she's evil and insane.
And this is the last time I'll think about her or them for more than a few seconds.
_________________________________________________________
--Sara T. Biggun
sara T punk